Perfection is a lie

havenofear

Perfection is a lie.

Even when trying to write this I’m aware of my fear of misspellings and imperfections (thank goodness for auto-correct).

Perfection is an illusion.

Something we all strive for but nobody gets.

It is trying to have the perfect relationship but missing the lessons in it. It is trying to have the perfect family, the perfect job, the perfect career, the perfect hair, the perfect body, the perfect everything and failing. Every. Single. Time.

And with every fail we judge ourselves, with every fall we think of ourselves as less than perfect, and because we are less than perfect we must be non-deserving. We must be doing something wrong and we need to find a way to fix it. With every fall we blame ourselves and we start to think that there is no hope, that it’ll never get better or that is not possible. It becomes an unattainable dream.

Everywhere we see ads that sell us perfection and how to achieve it, how to have the perfect hair, the perfect body, do the perfect diet, date the perfect person and so on. None of it is about accepting ourselves, accepting what is. Accepting that maybe we won’t get married and have the picket fence with the kids and dog, maybe it is not our path; accepting that our body is less than perfect and being ok with that, not judging it, good or bad. It is just being with it, loving what is.

It is painful this search for perfection because we can never get there. We fight with other people instead of accepting them, we punish ourselves for not achieving the expected, perfect results. We don’t accept ourselves and we don’t accept others as result, and we crash against it all and give up. We keep trying and we keep disappointing ourselves and losing hope.

The search for perfection is a ruthless, never ending path of torture.

When we learn to accept what is, what we have, our attention starts to gravitate towards what we do have, what we are grateful for and what we appreciate. We can find perfection in nature, in our connection with our inner self, in serendipitious events in our connection to the Divine, in our surrender. Not everything is going to go according to our plans and we need to accept that. Surrendering doesn’t mean to stop believing in wellness, it means you don’t fight it anymore and go with the flow, trusting that perfection is not what others define for you, it is what brings you closer to the Divine.

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